Why Learning Coaching Skills Will Be Useful To You

I find it fascinating that so often when I’m talking with senior leaders they talk about wanting to win the hearts and minds of their people and engage the talent they know they have in the workforce. But very frequently the ways in which organisations work seem almost designed to work against this.

Telling people what to do does not cause them to become more proactive, more self-reliant and nor does it give them an understanding of what they’ve got within them. This is where I find myself quite often talking about the value of a different kind of approach. If you wanted to give it a label I would call it ‘The Coach Approach’. Why the coach approach? Because coaching has fundamentally an assumption which is that people have skills and talents that need to be drawn out. The way you draw them out is not by trying to shove things down people’s throats. You get the best from people when they are able to access it themselves. This is a process of internal exploration and then action.

Here’s an example – I have just come back from working with a whole bunch of people who are very talented leaders  in all sorts of different specialisms. The reason I was speaking at their conference is that they wanted to be better able to have the sorts of conversations which they know make a difference to clients and also illuminate what it is that clients really want. This is how they wanted to add value as they knew there was something that they weren’t doing.

In the course of our time together I was looking at one of the critical skills that indeed comprise the coach approach which is knowing how to ask good questions. The art of good questioning involves timing because you can ask the same question at different moments and get wildly different responses. It also involves understanding what you don’t know and are therefore engaged in an act of genuine enquiry. You are provoking thought. Whenever you ask a question what you do is you send a person on an internal search in terms of the neuroscience of it all.

There is an interesting aspect even in the word ‘question’. Look at what else is contained in that one word. Very often I will say to people the really important question is ‘what is the quest in your question’? Where are you directing attention? What is the journey you are sending people on when you ask them a question. When you do so that is exactly what you do, you send them on an internal search.

This is just one of a whole bunch of coaching skills which seem to me to be far too important to be left exclusively in the hands of people who are called Professional Coaches. This is why I have spent a lot of time making these skills available in a learnable format to people who frankly have very little interest in being coaches but who really do want to know how to adopt a coach approach – which means stop telling, start listening. Start a different kind of working relationship with people. That relationship will be characterised – not by a loss of authority on the contrary you can have your own clear position but the way you engage with people will enable them to do more than they have done before. It is almost like designing an alliance where the two of you, three of you or even a team begin to have a way of engaging in what is naturally there as latent talent. It seems to me that this is a skill pretty much anyone would benefit from knowing how to utilise.

I have taught this to people all over the world and they come from very different backgrounds but have one thing in common – they want to draw on the talent they know is there.

This is why I would say that coaching skills is something that pretty much anybody would benefit from learning about and becoming proficient in. They are skills and skills require practice.

You can read a book but you can’t get it from a book. That’s why we have a coaching programme and funnily enough, most of the people who come on the coaching programme are interested in applying it across the board in their life as a whole.

So if that interests you see you soon.

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Olympic Life Lesson

So, the Olympics is over and a country that is roughly the size of Michigan seem to have come in third in the medal table.  Population of, what is it, sixty two million in the UK versus the largest nation in the world by population, China, second, and the US.  Not bad at all, to put it mildly. 

And is there anything we can learn from this?  Well, yes I think there is.  And it’s a kind of important lesson.  There may be many, but one in particular that I’m very struck by, because if we look at what happened four years ago in Beijing, British cyclists produced a pretty impressive performance then.  And it was said at the time there were reasons why, and Dave Brailsford actually talked about what he did that was different.  Nobody paid the slightest attention as far as I could see.  And lo and behold, when you get down to what made the difference, what he was doing was recognising that everything that addressed performance, even if it didn’t have a dramatic input, could have a cumulatively powerful impact.  What we’re talking about here is the power of incremental change.  So that could take many forms, you do a slightly different thing and you get a fraction of a hundredth of a second off total time.  Build those up over time, enough fractions of a hundredths of a second, you get improved performance. 

So does that mean it’s all about what happens on the track?  No it doesn’t.  Does that mean that it’s all about what you do in the moment when you’re confronting any kind of challenge in your life?  No it doesn’t. 

Here are a couple of the things that go with that kind of incremental mind set.  You pay attention to detail, you make very slight changes.  For instance all of the British cyclists have had hand washing lessons.  Why?  Because knowing how to wash your hands properly, is one of the best forms of preventative medicine that any human being can employ.  And that means that you get sick less often, which means you’re going to lose fewer days in terms of being ill.  And thus training can continue and you’ll be at a higher peak of performance.  Well how about this, whenever they travel, they take their own pillows.  Why?  Maybe it’s a comfort thing, no, well maybe it is.  But what else does it do?  It ensures that they have a comfortable pillow to rest their head on at night, so that they sleep better.  Little things. 

For years I’ve been saying to people never, never underestimate the power of incremental change.  And this is exactly the kind of thing that incremental change is about.  It’s not very dramatic, it’s not very impressive, no particular incremental change in itself is.  But the overall result for an individual and even more the overall result for a team is absolutely phenomenal, because it is cumulative it compounds over time.  

So I guess one of the things we could say is if we were looking for life lessons from the Olympics, well where might incremental change play a part in each of our lives?  Where might we be able to move in the direction we seek even if we can’t get there tomorrow?  Every slight change that takes us in that direction is moving us and creating momentum.  That’s the power of incremental change.  It’s also frequently part of what is true innovation.  Because innovation doesn’t just involve a brainstorming moment where there’s the eureka understanding of what is needed.  A lot of innovation comes about just by people making very slight changes which cumulatively result in something remarkably different. 

So what a great couple of weeks for people who have no interest in sport, because to me, whether you have an interest in sport or not, the Olympics are about, they’re a celebration of excellence.  Excellence in many different themes, with remarkable stories of people who demonstrate that if you really continue to persevere, if you really are willing to do what it takes, remarkable results can be achieved. 

That has to be a life lesson.  And a joyous one even.  For everybody.

‘Till the next time.  

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3 Labours of Love 12/03/2012

This past weekend, we were staying at a hotel, which is clearly a labour of love for the people who own it.  It is an Italian family, and they started with a run-down building, and have turned it into a beautiful hotel.  And they’re clearly proud of it, and it shows when you arrive, there’s a letter waiting for you in every room and personally addressed.  And in the letter it says ‘These bedrooms and facilities have emerged from what at times has been long and wishful thinking.  It has taken over fourteen years to transform what was once decrepit building into the lavish surroundings that you can see here today.  It was often difficult to see the floor for the number of carpenters, cabinet makers, electricians and decorators.  We have had many obstacles, and it has been an education beyond comprehension.’  And I just thought this was wonderful, truly a labour of love. 

And I come back and there’s an email from Jan Elfline, my colleague with whom I created the coaching programme, those many years ago.  And Jan is going to be doing a four day Master Class, and she has spent days and days, if not weeks creating a brand new kind of manual for it.  Which is a very visual manual, because the Master Class is on Visual Coaching, so you know, she was sending me the proofs and is just totally delighted with it.  And it struck me again, here is a labour of love and somebody just investing their time because they care. 

And then, yesterday, I was having a conversation with Robert Dilts, because he and I are very close now to being ready to launch our programme that will be on the internet, which is the Fellowship Programme.  And it struck me again, talking about a labour of love, we’ve been doing this for, I think it is just about three years, a mindboggling amount of time, and we’ve had a great time doing it,  but again we’ve really invested a disproportionate amount of time and energy into something that, well it matters to us, so therefore we do it.

And all three of these instances, seem to me to be examples of how if you do what you really love, if you do what you really care about, if you put the time and effort in, it may seem initially quite mad, and certainly to other people it can seem like, well ‘just what is going to be the return on this?’ But frankly the return is the satisfaction of the moment, the satisfaction of seeing what you wanted to come into being.  And that then, very frequently, engages others because somehow or another, what matters to you is conveyed, and it begins to matter to others. 

So I think it is a big mistake to question whether or not to follow your dreams, it’s actually more to the point to be able to realise them.  That may be in the form of a building, such as this beautiful hotel rescued from a pile of rubble.  Or it may be in creating something new which really interests you.  And that’s absolutely been the case with Jan.  She has been so taken with the notion of the visual being a component which really hasn’t had that much of a look in, in coaching, and yet, of course she comes from a visual background, having lectured in the visual arts, but it’s also that if you look at the tools that are most wide spread, and have come out of coaching, the Balance Wheel has to be one of them, and again, what is that?  That’s a visual tool.  And then with Robert and myself, what we’re really focusing on is, well, how can that fuller life, which is one that drives what we do anyway, namely a sense of being in service to something bigger than oneself, and honouring that, by delivering practical ‘how tos’ so that first ourselves can learn and then those who choose to engage with us, can learn the tools and techniques for bring a more, I think, spiritual dimension to life lived with purpose.  You know, that matters a lot.  Well, it matters a lot to us anyway.  And so, I’m left with the question, you know, what would it be like if everybody was engaging with their own dreams, and grounding them so that something tangible issued forth, which then everybody can benefit from and engage with.  So, that’s the question that I’m left with, and I’ll leave it with you. 

‘Till the next time.

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Ian McDermotts Understanding of Legacy

You know, it’s very striking to me how ideas have their time.  And it would seem that what I was talking about when I referred to your daily legacy and influence you have being your primary legacy, it would seem that that resonated with a lot of people.  It’s funny, because I can remember, ooh it must have been nearly fifteen years ago now, talking to a group of businessmen about the whole notion of legacy.  And I remember there being a kind of stupefied silence - they had not really the faintest idea what I was talking about.  Now, it may be because I just wasn’t able to speak in an intelligible fashion about it, but you know, I don’t really think it was that.  I think it was more that it, it was just outside their comprehension.  And so times have moved on and people, I think, have a different sense of possibilities of what matters, in a way that, for me, is enormously encouraging, because it makes new things possible.

So, to pick up some thread as it were by popular request, let me say a few more things about my understanding of legacy and what that can mean for each of us.  And so, the first thing of course is, as I was saying, you know, it’s not about after you’re dead.  You have an impact now, you have a daily influence and it’ll be for good or ill one way or the other, but it would be impossible for you to not to have an influence, because you’re encountering other people.  Even if you were to go through the world saying absolutely nothing, you’d still be someone in their awareness and possibly that would be a contribution or actually not - who can say?  But the thing about thinking of what you do as rippling out, as being you’re impact on the world, is that you begin to realise that there’s more to you than you may have thought. 

I’ve often had the experience of  clients I’ve worked with making reference back to something I’ve said many moons ago, and telling me that that’s a remark that really stayed with them.  Now there’s an example of influence and of legacy, because potentially, some of those things have enormous impact on the way people decide to go forward in their lives.  So it matters a lot, and it can be a simple thing.

I mean I remember one time, working with somebody and saying to them, because they told me that they really couldn’t make any changes, because they just wouldn’t feel like they were being themselves.  And I said to them, you know, ‘How you are used to being, is not necessarily who you are.’  And that was something that just caused a pause.  And you could see that it was just settling, and they thought about it for some while after.  So there are some words that actually gave them new options, and that was me creating a legacy, in them.  And here’s another aspect, we don’t just create a legacy on a daily basis with others, we do it with ourselves.  If you spend your time, on a daily basis, bitching about other people, trying to deceive them, undermine them, get one up on them, whatever, you know, over time that becomes a habit.  Then that’s how you get to be you.  That’s creating a legacy for yourself.  Well I’d rather not.  But on the other hand, if you do things that consistently take you in a particular direction, over time there’s a different kind of legacy.  And that’s a gift you make to yourself.  So, there are many kinds, it’s not just with other people, it’s also with yourself. 

Let me give you a really simple, mundane thing.  Suppose you were to floss on a daily basis, that is one of the things you can do that will have a measurable impact on your health, over time.  It’s just a really good thing to do.  It for instance, influences your heart health in ways that are in ways quite profound.  So what you’re doing is engaging in an activity, a practice which then has an impact on you, and you reap the benefits of it.  You’re literally creating your own legacy by what you do and the way you do it.  So you might want to choose some good habits, and then reap the benefits down the road. 

‘Till the next time.

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'What NLP means to me' - Ian McDermott

From time to time Ian McDermott is asked to provide a preface to the books of colleagues. Ian comments: "Often I find that doing this gives me an opportunity to reflect and speak quite personally and in a different way. This is particularly true in this case."

This is Ian's preface to The Sourcebook of Magic (2nd edition) by Michael Hall published 2004 by Anglo-American Books.

I can still remember how the change I wanted in my love life came about… While I was enjoying considerable professional success I didn’t feel particularly happy or fulfilled in my relationship. I was on an NLP training and reached a threshold: I became aware that I really needed to change some of my own personal history – or at any rate the meaning I had made of it. I needed to do this if I was going to be able to allow myself to have the loving kind of relationship I wanted.

Synthesising a number of NLP techniques I spent several hours with myself. I was ready and primed and that was the perfect time. Did it work? Perhaps the best way I can answer that is that within 24 hours a new woman whom I had never met before came into my life. And not just a new woman but a different kind of woman. She was entirely different to those I had known before. Generous in spirit, not so self-preoccupied and much more available. In fact it seemed quite magical.

So did we marry and live happily ever after? Actually no. For while what happened inside of me to make this possible was an extraordinary experience, it was not the end of the story. I had more to do. And that took time. Even with NLP, it took time. But this was the turning point and that relationship represented the next stage in my personal journey. From then on things only got better until eventually I did meet the woman I married - and am still married to.

Right now you are holding in your hands the tools that can help make such change possible. In this masterly and comprehensive survey of what NLP has to offer Michael Hall has made it easy to understand when to use what. Even so learning how to use these processes is best accomplished experientially. Because the learning is in the doing, if you want to get good at NLP I would strongly suggest you take an NLP training. (Choose an organisation that has a proven track record and trainers you can trust).
NLP is frequently referred to as a technology and – in part – it is. Those science fiction dystopias that depict a world where technology has got out of control remind us that while technology can make a very good servant, it makes a very bad master. The same could be said of any advanced technology – including NLP. You get to be in charge of this particular technology by being clear about what you want to achieve with it and then engaging with your experience. With its many examples this book will show what is possible.
The technology itself is rigorous, evidence-based and can be calibrated to each individual. However, if you were to ask me what is the most advanced and important application of this advanced technology I would have no hesitation in my answer. I would say that it offers the means to enhance and nourish that least attended to and most important relationship in anyone’s life – your relationship with yourself.

So often NLP is presented as offering invaluable interpersonal communication tools. And it’s true. In addition NLP practitioners have modelled human excellence in a wide variety of fields. In fact NLP can be useful to anyone who is interested in answering the question ‘just how do you do that?’ of any human activity. However, in the final analysis I believe the power of NLP derives not from how it can help us become more influential with others or even model excellence. The real power of NLP is that it can enable us to become more influential with ourselves. Over time, if we choose to cultivate this relationship with ourselves, and consistently use the many NLP tools described in this book we may even move beyond excellence to some smidgen of wisdom.

And then there’s the world of work. As a consultant I frequently find the methodologies, the techniques, but also just the way of thinking that characterises NLP, to be liberating and productive in organisations - and not just for managers. My strategic and systemic work with leaders is made much easier by being able to call on a variety of NLP models and interventions. Every business I work with wants to know how better to manage crucial relationships and maximise client satisfaction. NLP has specific tools to help achieve these goals. What organisation wouldn’t benefit from those within it knowing how to put themselves in others’ shoes, be they colleagues or clients? What employee wouldn’t want to know how to better manage upwards? Again, NLP has specific techniques that make these learnable skills.

Recently I have become aware that I am now seeing an increasing number of coaches coming to take our NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings. When I’ve asked them why their answers are remarkably consistent; because of its precision and techniques NLP means they can be more effective in the limited time frame of the typical 30 minute coaching call. Their other reason is very market driven. With so many people now calling themselves coaches, NLP enables them to deliver more effective results more consistently and so improve word of mouth referral rates.

This makes a lot of sense to me because NLP offers us the tools for understanding how we do what we do and what works - and also what is not working. Its range of applications will be limited only by the variety of people who get involved. In my office at home I have a special bookshelf reserved for the complimentary copies my students send me of the books they have written applying NLP to their own fields of expertise. These range from business, to athletics, to medicine, to headship, to equestrian excellence.

However, at its best it does so much more: it makes possible a practical compassion that enables us to effect profound structural change. At its best it is inclusive recognising that there may well be many ways of achieving a successful outcome. But it is also rigorous in delineating how some ways are much, much easier than others. Again at its best it is respectful and realistic because it acknowledges that we each have our own map of the world. It stresses we need to have that map honoured if we are to be available to new opportunities that take us beyond the boundaries of our previous thinking. I also value NLP because, at it’s best, it is demystificatory and democratic – using NLP you will find your experience has a structure. This means you can make sense of what you’ve been doing and change it if you wish.

For myself I work in the field because I have a vision of what is possible using these tools, this way of thinking - and what they ultimately can give rise to, which is a way of being. Potentially NLP is not just life changing but world changing. Sometimes it can even be the difference between life and death.

I have been inspired by my work with doctors and seeing just what is possible with the many NLP health applications that have been developed. I have felt humbled when one of my students, a barrister, tells me that he found his NLP skills meant he was able to counsel a senior Caribbean political figure who then commuted death sentences on a number of political insurrectionists. I feel new hope when another of my students starts using NLP in the restorative justice programmes he has pioneered with the police in the UK. Here crime victims and perpetrators come face to face and achieve resolution. The success of his work – as measured by a staggering drop in recidivism - sets me thinking, what if NLP was to be used in international mediation work? So I feel called to contribute when my Islamic students ask me to help them make NLP available in the Middle East. For me these and many other similar examples make the magic of NLP pale into insignificance when compared to the magic that people can do with it.

However, the best way to start changing the world is by putting your own house in order. Starting with oneself is a very good place to begin applying NLP if you want to come across as credible and congruent – and if you want to be successful over any length of time. NLP makes it possible to become aware of at least some of the presuppositions that are running our thinking and our behaviour – and hence our lives. It’s useful to know what yours are. It’s also nice to know that - as I can attest from personal experience - you can use NLP to change them if they’re not working for you.
So going back to my own romantic experience does this mean…‘I owe it all to NLP’? Er, no! Do we ever really owe everything to just one factor? If I was going to say I owe it all to anything it would be to taking charge of my inner life and changing what I believed possible. But what I would say is that, from my own experience, I can assure you that you can have the changes you want if you just start to build a better relationship with yourself and get clear about what you really want. And NLP is one very good way of doing this.
From such remedial beginnings are generative possibilities born. Often we can barely imagine what these might be. In my own case it meant finding there was something beyond what I had known. When I met Paulette, who later became my wife, I was challenged in myself to love differently and more deeply. That process I wouldn’t call magical. It is more mysterious still. It is alchemical and it changes you in a different way again. (But that’s another book).

Recently I received a letter from one of my students who had just completed our Practitioner and Master Practitioner training. In it she detailed the specific major new steps she was able to take after each module of these two programmes. These are the most profound changes to her life that she has ever experienced. Now 10 months later she has a new career, a new home, an apartment to let and is emotionally ready to share her life with someone. But her final line said more than all of this: “I’m so happy to be living life to the full now instead of just existing.”

I believe that, in the right hands, NLP has much to offer those who want to live life to the full and go beyond just existing. That’s why I think you owe it to yourself to read on. In this valuable contribution to the field Michael Hall has woven together the different strands of NLP and expertly delineated much of what NLP has to offer. I think you will find him enormously informative and trustworthy. I do. That’s why it’s a pleasure to welcome the second edition of this authoritative guide to the magic of NLP.

Ian McDermott

Your Daily Legacy

Well I’m just back from Denver, Colorado, where I’ve been speaking at what is clearly going to become an annual conference, and it’s run by The Purposeful Planning Institute.  It’s actually a very lovely, rendezvous they call it, where advisors to high net worth  families meet to discuss ways in which they can better serve their clients and move in the direction of more purposeful lives.  So as you can imagine that gets my vote.  And actually, it started, the first rendezvous was last year, and in the run up to that, a year before that even, I was asked if I would come on the steering committee.  Well those of you who know me well, will know that a committee animal I am not really.  But in this particular case it seemed such an important initiative rather than just having advisors talk about tax plans and so forth, that I actually really did want to be involved and I was, helped make the first conference happen, and indeed spoke last year in Denver at the conference.  The result being that people were really very moved, because I was working with somebody and did a demonstration, and that’s something that these kind of people don’t see very often, if at all. 

So this year I was back and my theme was ‘how will you change the world?’ and talking about legacy.  Well a lot of people think that legacy, oh yes, that’s what dead people leave isn’t it? and you need lots of money to do it.  And what I was saying was that nothing could be further from the truth.  Really, each of us leaves a legacy, and it’s to do with the influence and the actions that we engage in.  the influence we have with others, for good or ill, we have on a daily basis.  You don’t have to wait until you’re dead good lord!  You can influence people moment by moment and there are so many examples of this all around us, indeed very often, I was telling them that when I’m working with clients, I’ll frequently give negative examples of influence, because then people can immediately appreciate how powerful influence is. 

Recently in the US a guy called Jerry Sandusky was indicted for multiple counts of child molestation and sexual abuse.  And he was a coach on a very prestigious football team.  The guy doesn’t have much money, but had the amazing ability to wreck a lot of people’s lives.  Now, that’s a legacy, it just happens to be profoundly negative.  And once people recognise that, gosh, yeah, I probably impacting people, it means that however much money you have is almost irrelevant.  You will be having an effect on people, for good or ill.  So the question then becomes, what sort of influence do you want to have?  And that there’s no point in just saying oh little old me, what can I do?  You know, if I was a billionaire I would make the world a better place, well that’s nice, but actually you’re doing things right now, the question is are they what you would choose?  Is the influence you’re having the one you would want to be associated with? 

So my basic suggestion to people was we create our legacy on a daily basis, and you cannot not leave a legacy on a daily basis.  I wonder, what will yours be today?  What was yours yesterday?  The last weekend?  Now, we’re not used to thinking like that, but when we do one of the things that happens is people realise that they had much more power and impact than they thought.  And this is true regardless of their income or their net worth.  ‘Cause it ain’t about money.  It’s about you.  And this year was a very lovely year, because I actually did a demonstration with the creator of The Purposeful Planning Institute and in the process, he was making connections with why he has the baggage he has, and how those had been with him pretty much all his life really, and it just strengthens people and their resolve and their clarity about what really matters and what do I want to be doing going forward in my life? 

So a very, very fulfilling weekend and I’ll tell you more next time.  

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NLP and Neuroscience

Well I’m mindful that two months have passed since the last audioboo, and it’s been an extraordinarily full time, a curious mixture really, but good to be back on track now. Of course, that period initially, with the death of my mother, and everything that goes with the death of a parent, and then moving into a whole raft of new developments, which I think will be just bearing a lot of fruit for a lot of people actually, and the one perhaps to begin by flagging would be the final coming together of NLP and neuroscience, which has been a dream of mine for longer than I care to remember to be honest.

It’s one of these curious things, you know, there’s been research taking place of neuroscience for certainly thirty years and it’s as if much of the work has stayed in the lab. Which is funny if you happen to be a researcher.

But there really is a practical dimension to understanding the way a brain works and therefore to neuroscience, because, hey, we’ve all got one and it could be kind of useful to have a more profound understanding of just what’s going on. And there are many examples, I think, of how more recent research could be extraordinarily beneficial if it was out there, if it was known about. So, for some years now, I have actually been actively looking for somebody who had the kind of background and credibility with whom I could partner to effectively begin the process of enabling both disciplines to come together. Because there seems to me, a lot of what NLP has done over the past thirty years is almost like applied neuroscience, without any science, you know, in the strict scientific sense of that word. If we’re talking about doing things that work, then NLP’s absolutely been right at the forefront delivering evidentially. However, I’ve been very interested in the conversations that I’ve been having more recently with Professor Patricia Riddell, who has been, herself, aware of what NLP has contributed to our understanding of practical technologies for change, and as a result of that we’ve been able to see how, you know, there really could be a way of integrating some of these elements, whilst allowing each to be its own province, its own field, of course, still.

And so, very recently, we actually did; well we do an open evening looking at habits, because there’s an area that is part and parcel of everybody’s experience. We have them or we like to acquire ones, you know, habits can be good, they can be bad. Or they could be things we would wish to have. But there is a structure to habits, which is how we come at it from an NLP point of view. And what’s going on in the brain is really fascinating, to enable one to understand how could you develop better habits, and how could you also become free of ones that are constraining.

So, we did this very brief opening really, which was received very well and we got very positive feedback about it. And in fact, come the NLP conference in November, we’re going to be doing something at somewhat greater length, focusing on exactly that area again, habits, and integrating what we understand from neurosciences, and what we now understand from the practicalities of habit change courtesy of NLP, and more recently, a couple of weeks ago, Trish and I did a one day event where we were starting to look at how could you take some of the basics of NLP and understand them through the filter of neuroscience. Well I have to say, it was an absolutely fascinating day. We were packed to the gummels, full house. And it was really very encouraging to see how there was benefits from both sides, and people were telling us that they had been looking for something like this… well no need to look anymore, there’s a lot more coming down the track. And we’re actually in process at the moment of, this summer, preparing new materials for new programmes. So I’ll keep you posted, but it’s good to be back, and there’s so much happening that you’re going to be hearing about very shortly.

So, ‘till the next time.

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Writer's Alley

Well its summer in Connecticut, and it’s that time of year that’s always a great pleasure for me, because I get to do a lot of writing. I also get to, sort of, step back, take stock and think about future possibilities and opportunities. But it is especially a lovely part of the world to be thinking about the next chapter, the next book, and as there are three on the go at the moment, that certainly is something I need some space for.

And it’s a curious thing, but for reasons I will never know, I seem to be in a part of the world which has become like writer’s alley. And it struck me the other day, when originally we bought the house. We bought it from a very talented children’s author and illustrator, Stephen Kellogg, who has written many, many children’s books that are extremely well known in the states, and have a great following. And the way we engaged was just a delight, because we talked about this beautiful property that looks over the lake, and from our point of view we were really just stewards. Yes, the deeds would be in our name, but the most important thing was just to preserve it. Because at one point there was talk of turning it into a marina, which was not have been a great idea. So, anyway, here I am, writing away, and recently I learnt that down the road, literally eight doors away, is Suzanne Collins. Author of, yes indeed, The Hunger Games. And she’s in her writer’s, not exactly garret, but nevertheless her special building, which she’s just had constructed, and no doubt working on the next best seller.

So all in all, an interesting part of the world. And I remember, at one point, talking with Stephen about possible things that could be done, because when we bought the property here, nothing had been done to it for years, so that it was in need of a lot of care and attention. And the possibilities were great, but so were the potential costs. And he leant forward to me conspiratorially to me at one point, and he said “write faster, Ian, write faster.”

So, can’t stop, ‘till the next time.

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From Inner Game to Neuroscience

Earlier this year, the association for coaching asked me if I would be up for doing a workshop at a conference in Edinburgh, the title of which was From Inner Game to Neuroscience.

Now unfortunately, I was running trainings on the days in question, so it just didn’t arise and I therefore said I would love to but on this occasion I can’t. But I did congratulate them on the title of the conference, because it was a way of summing up the journey that has really characterised coaching over the past, say, decade or more; from that Inner Game model, which is absolutely relevant, to more the talk of what the neurosciences can contribute to our understanding now. I actually think there’s a danger of assuming that one is somehow surpassing the other, and nothing could be further from the truth.

Because, in fact, of course, all that neuroscience does is help us have a more profound understanding of our consciousness, which is the essence of the Inner Game anyway.

And I think, part of what is now so potentially rewarding in terms of the work that is being done, and certainly that I’ve been aware of and involved in with colleagues, is that we’re actually able to begin a synthesizing of the Inner Game approach, which is essentially based on paying attention to oneself, turning the attention from being outer-directed and taking an in the world out there, to being more self-reflexive, that is to say turning attention back on oneself, and paying more attention to, well, ‘just how do I do what I do?’ ‘Just what is going on?’ ‘How do I, on occasion, get in my own way, trip myself up?’ and ‘How do I move into an easy flow state?’ And one of the things which I think that neuroscience is being to help us understand is, not only what’s going on in your brain that makes the best times such experiences of flow states, but also, what can we do to stack the cards in our favour.

You know, there are certain ways of engaging with ourselves, which will help more than others, and certainly some of the work that I’ve been recently involved in doing with Patricia Riddell, who is a professor of applied neuroscience, is coming to an understanding in new ways of how certain processes actually relate to what goes on in our brain.

And I’ll give you an example, that I found absolutely fascinating, which is, upper section of time. Now, you know, time is something which is kind of fundamental, and being able to differentiate between what happened yesterday and what happened twenty years ago is sort of useful. And the question sometimes arises, well how do we do that? And indeed, do we get into a muddle sometimes about the order in which something occurred and how does the brain do that?

Well it’s an interesting phenomenon, certainly that NLP’s been exploring for years, and I think devising very helpful techniques in so doing. You’ll see them in timeline work, for instance and Practitioner training.

The understanding that has arisen is that the way the brain codes time has a lot to do with how it organises things spatially. And so you have this fundamental distinction between looking at time going forward and putting the past behind you.

Notice how these are descriptions of place, spatial organising. The forward, looking forward, past behind you. And actually, what we know from neuroscience is that people are not that good at gaging spatial differences when they look directly ahead. But they are much better at gaging differences when they’re able to look from left to right. And what we find is in timelines, people that organise their timelines from left to right are very good at determining what goes where and finding a place for everything and having everything in its place.

And people that tend to organise time in a linear fashion, going out from right where they are in front of them , day by day and into the future, they have a much tougher time organising themselves sometimes. And we can actually learn more about what works and how to do it better. We can teach these skills and what we’re doing is coming to an understanding of ‘what do I do inside and what does my brain do? And hey, how about us getting together and doing this better?’

Until the next time……..

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NLP and Neuroscience - Now Is the Time

Exciting news!
We are delighted to announce that ITS have a brand new training venue.

From September 1st 2012 all ITS programmes will be held within The Academy situated at The London Kensington Forum.

The Academy offers excellent facilities and is located in the European flagship Holiday Inn Hotel which is to be found in South Kensington.

The Holiday Inn London Kensington Forum has recently gone through a £6.5 million refurbishment as part of the global relaunch of the Holiday Inn brand. Amongst other things this has meant new beds and carpets in all 900 bedrooms. Then six months ago the hotel had a further £4 million investment as they built a brand new Gym, Business Lounge, Executive Boardroom and of course The Academy.

We recently held our sell-out one day NLP & Neuroscience workshop within The Academy and can confidently say you'll enjoy both the training rooms and the coffee lounge. We hope you will agree with us that it's a great learning environment.

To find out more click here.

The ITS Team

Ten Essential Strategies For Turning Vision into Action

By Ian McDermott

Many of us have a vision, how do we make that vision come alive? Here, Ian McDermott, Master Trainer and NLP Coach will tell us more ...

Start Being Who You Really Are

Those rare individuals, who create lives which are the picture of their dreams and visions, are at home in themselves. At the times when you are turning your vision into action, you will be ‘being you.’ So by contrast, it can be really useful to look at the times when you are not ‘being you’ to be clear about how you are selling yourself short.   You can then use the tools of NLP and the skills of Coaching to make any changes in the areas that will make the journey from Vision into Action; easier, faster and more rewarding.

2. Decide How Much Your Vision Matters

Turning your vision into action should not be a struggle. There may be obstacles to overcome. Those who achieve are driven by a strong desire to take action. The strength of this desire is directly related to how much your vision matters to you. If your vision does not matter deeply to you, is it any surprise to find yourself un-motivated to take the action?  If taking action is a problem for you, you may want to go back and check the vision. Maybe it requires fine tuning. Perhaps it's time for a new vision. Either way, a vision that matters deeply to you is a pre-requisite for significant action.

3. Face Your Fears

It’s useful to distinguish between ‘fear’ and the natural concerns and hesitations that we all experience when doing anything new and significant. If you take off in an aeroplane on a windy day, you may have some moments of ‘doubt’ but you probably just buckle your seat belt, take a deep breath and get on with it!

There are also times when you know deep down that fear is an important message. In particular, appreciating the positive intention of the fear and using NLP can rapidly reduce or eliminate it all together. In fact, when fear is the major obstacle stopping us turning vision into action, it’s time to get excited, because once you deal with the fear; you open the door to your potential.

4. Check - What Are You Voting For In Your Life?

With every minute, we choose to do one thing rather than another. Every moment we do this we are voting with our time.

On any given day we have a finite amount of energy. We can spend it wisely – or not.

5. Check – Will You Collaborate With Others?

Many people are anxious when it comes to working with others; that they’ll be done down or undermined in some way. Others are not sure how to find allies. Whatever your vision, it is almost certainly the case that at some point you’re going to need to be collaborating with others.

6. Get The Right Balance Between Vision & Action

We’ve all met individuals who live in the land of amazing ideas. They spend most of their time fantasising over their visions. The problem is their visions are just that – fantasies – because they lack an effective strategy to take action.  The opposite extreme is the individual who is so busy ‘doing’ that they never step back to consider what they are doing – and most importantly why they are doing it. Such people certainly get a lot done, but often not the things that will lead them to fulfilment.

So the key is to find a balance between vision and action.

7. Make A Phased Transition

Beware the motivational speaker who tells you to ‘just go for it’ and throw away the day job. You need to build time into your planning for turning vision into action – enough time to manage any major transition and enough time to ensure that if you meet unexpected setbacks you will not be thrown off course.

8. Decide - Are You Willing To Pay The Price?

The gold medal winning Olympic athlete is often cited as a metaphorical example of what you need to do to turn vision into action. They visualise success, they set goals they are passionate about what they do, they are able to enter ‘the zone’ etc etc.

True enough. But there is another factor in the athlete’s success which is not mentioned as frequently, because it is not quite as appealing. They are willing to pay the price. They are willing to get up at 5am every day and practice in freezing temperatures. They will endure frustration, failure and sometimes physical injury.

Hopefully turning your vision into action will not be quite as arduous. But if you are going to accomplish anything of significance, there will probably be a price to pay. It may be small or large but part of achieving that goal involves deciding that you are willing to pay the price.

9. Learn How To Tap The Wisdom Within

Many people wonder whether they can turn their vision into action without realising that they have vital resources to do so already within them. These resources are available once you know how to tap the wisdom of your unconscious mind.

Developing this ability to tap into your own inner wisdom will lead you to make better decisions.

10. Know What You Want Your Legacy To Be

Those who achieve are invariably driven by a vision that encompasses some larger or even higher purpose. Often, they will talk of what they want to leave behind, of ‘creating something more than me’ or ‘creating something that will live on after me.’ Your vision will be easier to achieve when you know what you want your legacy to be. When you turn your attention to what your legacy will be, you are taking an important step in turning your vision into action, because you are creating an incredibly strong reason for your behaviour.

Real Leadership By Ian McDermott

If you were to ask the average man or woman in the street what makes a good leader, the majority, I think, would put forward qualities such as strength, determination, courage and, for many, ruthlessness. If you were to ask how many people demonstrate such qualities, our fictitious survey group might cite Napoleon, Churchill, Margaret Thatcher and some leaders of industry such as Richard Branson. Leadership is perceived as being in short supply.

However, in fact, we are all leaders some of the time - and not just in special
circumstances. A parent needs to lead his or her children. A partner within a
relationship will, if the relationship is to be balanced and work, have times of being the leader and other times of being led. Even though leadership may not be a full time occupation, we will all have moments when others look to us for direction, guidance and support.

My experience as a trainer, a mentor, a consultant and a coach has made me very aware that each involves a different leadership role at times. Becoming clear about my own style of leadership has been very important for me both personally and professionally.

Leadership, I have found, is like charity - it begins at home. To be a good leader of others you first need to know how to lead yourself - and when you can lead yourself, you can lead others.

I think you need to be clear about the journey you wish to make, the speed at which you wish to travel and the beliefs and values that will guide your path. In the training courses that I run, we call this process pacing yourself. In other words, being true to yourself and not trying to force yourself to be anything that deep down you know isn’t really you. It is about becoming the leader that is already within you.
 So often when I’m coaching executives my function is to draw out what they have not recognised that they have within themselves. In the context of training, this means allowing the leader to come out as opposed to teaching slick tricks or having to stick ‘leadership’ on from the outside (much as you might stick wall cladding on a house to cover up cracks).  Leadership, when you are true to yourself, flows like a river and is without effort. It emanates and radiates – and it has strong attractor properties.

Put another way, leadership is about personal congruence. And the key to personal congruence is being able to pace yourself. To pace yourself you need to be able to honour and acknowledge the different aspects of yourself whether your conscious mind likes them or not. You will also need to address your own particular habitual patterns and experiences. If this sounds like a tall order, the good news is that the ways to achieve this can all be taught.

In addressing these areas I have found myself personally changing and becoming more aligned. It is like the different parts of me are all going in the same direction. The pay-off is enormous as you are truly able to walk your talk, to practice what you preach and to do what you say. It produces a particular kind of leadership style - leading by example. This is about leading by being: being one whose behaviour is naturally aligned with who you are and what matters to you. My experience is that once people know they can have this, they want it very badly because it is profoundly healing and very empowering.

Leading in this way whether at work or in your personal life means acting with
personal purpose stemming from a centred sense of self. It is centred because it steers a safe course between grandiose self-promotion and punitive self-criticism. Too often people oscillate violently between these two extremes.

This really is empowering and it’s good news for others.  Leaders who are empowered have as a high priority the empowerment of those they lead. Expect such people to be: (i) clearer about what matters to them and more able to be themselves; (ii) not just confident but truly competent; (iii) creative because they are able to adapt.

Once you can pace yourself you are ready to lead yourself and others. The more competent the person becomes, the less they need to dominate, whether as a trainer, a parent, a consultant, a manager, a coach or indeed a human being!

My research suggests that the most effective leaders are motivated by a vision that is allied to their mission. Their mission is an expression of who they are and as a result it is not just a bunch of words, it manifests from within and is an expression of that individual’s identity.

Unfortunately, many find themselves in businesses and organisations, in positions where they are expected to demonstrate a leadership style which is not really them, a cultural ‘norm’ that just doesn’t fit. Over time this can eat away inside you, and at your success, like a corrosive acid. As one executive I was coaching said, “On the outside I’ve got it all, but inside I just feel hollow.”

To enhance someone’s ability to be a leader in their life, one must first enhance the individual who will be that leader. There is no better way to do this than to draw out of an individual his or her own unique vision and mission. Why? Because these are born of that person’s identity. This is Leadership Coaching.

I have found that to identify one’s mission in life is a very profound experience. It matters a lot to people and stays with them afterwards. This is because they have achieved a high degree of integration and as a senior executive said to me this morning by way of finishing our coaching session, ‘Now I know what my purpose is.’

It also has two remarkable and often unexpected side effects. People begin to become more successful. They also become more creative.

***

So being a leader is not about commanding vast armies of people, nor is it about having power over others. People who seek power over others are usually chronically disempowered individuals themselves. Nor is leadership about control: the better you are as a leader the more you are able to influence. The more influential you are, the less you need to try to control.

Once your sense of self and your mission are aligned with what you do, you become unstoppable. How could you not do your mission if your mission is a natural expression of who you are? In the words of another coaching client, ‘Now I can enjoy doing me’. From my own experience in aligning my behaviour with my mission I can vouch for the truth in this.


The Difference That Makes a Difference

ITS  is at the forefront in applying the latest research in the neurosciences to better business practice.

A primary resource for over 100 of the world’s top companies and organisations, ITS also offers individuals the opportunity to apply what we now know to improve their own performance.

ITS specialises in growing leaders.